5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Getting Back Together with an Ex

Wherever you are in your relationship journey, you eventually reach a point where you need to make a decision that can seriously impact your life.

Maybe your goal is to move on from your old relationship or maybe it’s to get your ex back.

Either way, I have helped people just like you turn their life around.

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But the decision to move on or stay is solely yours. I can’t tell you what you should do, but I can help you with questions you should think about.

See, over the years of speaking with people about their breakups, I’ve boiled down 5 critical rules you should consider before going back to your former relationship. 

Break one of these and your chances of having a successful relationship drop by 20%. Break another rule and it drops another 20%.

Here are the 5 non-negotiable rules:

Rule 1. Trust is a two-way street

If you lied, he/she will be monitoring you and your behavior for a while. If they lied, how long are you willing to monitor them before you wholeheartedly forgive? 

Starting a relationship with trust issues is bound to fail.

Rule 2. Be real with your intentions

Getting your ex back because your ego took a hit is selfish, yet many people do this without even knowing it. If that’s you, please close this browser tab, my material isn’t for you, and you will more than likely break up again in the future. 

What’s the real reason you want them back? Think about this before you waste your time or theirs. 

Rule 3. Change is inevitable

If you do get back together, it will take the form of a slightly new relationship. Can you handle the change? 

The last thing you want to do is go back to a relationship and have it be toxic.

Rule 4. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

What will happen if you break up again? Will you end up being the couple that’s always on and off and consistently updating your relationship status on Facebook that I want to unfollow? 

Break up once, shit happens. Break up twice, then there’s an underlying problem you need to figure out.

Maybe it’s them. Maybe it’s you.

Rule 5. Confidence matters

I can give you all the words to say, the mental frameworks to have, the strategies, etc., but none of it matters if you don’t actually become a better version of yourself.

For example, if your relationship ended because you had insecurities, but you took my advice and wore a mask (no pun intended) to pretend you have changed, that won’t work.

As soon as you take off the mask (which you will eventually do) you will just revert back into your old self again.

You need to go from You 1.0 to You 2.0 PERMANENTLY for real success.


The reality is, at the end of the day, this is your life. 

No one cares about what you are going to do with your breakup as much as you think, and you shouldn’t care about what others they think about you.

But you should care about what you think of yourself.